Hello
Many thanks to those who sent encouragement and words of wisdom yesterday following the blog I wrote. I was so tired and had so much buzzing round in my head, I was just ready to walk away! Sometimes our spiritual lives can get like that and be so full of this and that and the other, it's hard to take things back to God and see what He thinks. No worries y'all I am not ditching God! I just need some rest, some space and to not be so hard on myself! Let's be a people who, when things get tough, take it back to God and see what He says and see what He thinks. Yes, people's input is more than valuable, but ultimately God is the author and perfector of our faith (Hebrews 12) not people.
I really wanted to share what I shared yesterday because I want to be real. In fact that is half of the point with my blogs - I am opening up my heart and mind to you guys in order that I may encourage, assist, help, offer some alternative viewpoints, tell you it's ok... and also to look back on my own journey and share it with you - my highs, my lows, my confusion, my answers, my prayers, my heart... I don't just want to write about the good stuff, but the bad stuff also. I would be a fake and a fraud if I pretended that everything was always ok. It's not. I think often we can be in utter inner turmoil at 11:05 on a Sunday morning, and when we walk into church at 11:15 we can pretend everything is ok, put on our super holy hats and act as if nothing is the matter. It's ok to doubt. It's ok to be unsure. It's ok to question things. It's all part of the journey. Praise God that we have a whole host believers, friends and family surrounding us, with whom we can have fellowship and even seek guidance. Thanks once again to those who supported me last night and continue to support me.
Finally I wanted to share this which inspired me yesterday...
2 Samuel 2v1 says:
'In the course of time, David enquired of the Lord'
This verse jumped right out at me yesterday. It was totally appropriate. Yesterday as I've said, I was exhausted, confused, sad, struggling... and so on. I really really was not in the mood for a whole big consultation from God, hour long prayer session, three hour Bible study and 90 minute engagement in spiritual warfare. That would not have been helpful. I did, however, attend my Community Group and have a good chat with the amazing folk there which helped. A few other people posted encouragement also and called me up which was fab. After a bit of time, I had calmed down enough to pray and take things to God. It helped and I came up with some solutions.
Now, what I love about the above verse is that in the course of time David enquired of the Lord. Now I'm not saying that this isn't just a tool to move the narrative of the Bible along and to indicate a generic passing of time. However if we think outside of the box, perhaps David was upset, confused, amazed, astonished, numbed, sad, petrified... you name it, and thus he needed time to process his thoughts and gather up enough might to pray and enquire of the Lord. David had just become King. His enemy Saul and best friend Jonathan had just died. David is in mourning. He is probably too numb to pray. He probably doesn't know what to think or say or do. He has a huge responsibility on his shoulders. It takes him time. And eventually he has had enough space to gather himself together and take it to the Lord. Now obviously we know that God is always there ready to assist us whenever we are ready so sometimes waiting is not necessary. Other times we can wait too long and almost run away. I'm not suggesting we do this. What I am saying is that sometimes we are numb. Sometimes we need a break. Sometimes we need some respite and space. Sometimes it is enough to just lift ourselves out of bed in the morning without the guilt feeling of 'I'm a terrible person because I just don't feel like praying today'. Let's be real people. Life isn't a bed of roses. God understands. God knows. But God is also there behind you, supporting you, and waiting for when the time is right. God will not force Himself on you, but will wait for you until you are ready. What a gracious God we serve.
No comments:
Post a Comment