Hi guys,
*Takes a long, deep breath and wonders a bit more about whether to write this today or not*
So, I have a strong urge to write what I am about to write today. I have been thinking about it for a while, and feel the time is now right. I am not ashamed of it, I feel there is not enough openess and honesty about certain issues raised, and I realise it may be uncomfortable and difficult for some people to read. If that is you, please feel free to stop reading now. For those who are still with me, thank you and may God bless you through this. As the title suggests this blog is not for the faint hearted. Yet on the other hand, it may be exactly for those who are faint (or broken) hearted. I believe God has placed a massive calling on my life to 'bind up the broken hearted' and to 'set captives free' (Isaiah 61). I therefore cannot keep quiet, and am willing to be open and honest in doing so. If that openness and honesty is offensive, my humble apologies. But if one more broken-heart can be bound up, or one more captive set free through what I write, then praise God.
So, in my journey right now, God has been talking to me a lot about my past, and reminding me of some of the issues from my past, mainly just to show me how far I have come and the freedom I have gained. Praise God. I really think that often, to be someone who 'sets captives free' and who 'binds up the broken-hearted' you have perhaps had to be a captive or a broken-hearted person once yourself. I certainly am one of those people. Let me tell you some more about this journey.
I struggle massively. I struggle massively with relationships and men and with giving my heart away. I struggle with awakening love before its proper time. I struggle with myself. My esteem is often lower than it should be. I struggle being single. I struggle with the possibility that I may never marry or have children. I am 30 in less than 2 years time. I am scared. I struggle.
But I am also free. I am free from being bound to these struggles. I am so much further on in my journey than I once was. It is often a case of two steps forward, three back, four more forward, one back, half a step to the left, and eventually some more steps forward. BUT, I have a never-ending hope. I have an eternal Saviour and friend in Jesus Christ. My Lord is MIGHTY to save. He has rescued me from some of the deepest pits of my life and saved me from darkness. My God is a healer, a forgiver, a lover; gently compassionate, fearfully FOR me, passionately in love with me and FULL OF GRACE.
I haven't always known this freedom and have often been caught up in a vicious cycle of sin, feeling bad about myself, struggles with men and so on. At 16 years old I was abused by my first boyfriend, sexually. It hurt. My heart broke. But the treatment I received from this man formed the basis of the rest of my relationships, and the way I viewed myself, so since then (until miraculous freedom came) I have used this experience as the bar against which I measure my relationships and view myself. Since this man I have experienced similar abusive relationships. I have given my heart away and had it trampled all over. I have been locked in rooms and forced upon. I remember a time where I used to cut my arms to pieces because I thought I needed to punish myself for what happened. I used to cover my mirrors with towels so that I didn't have to look at myself. I hid behind baggy clothes and black make-up. I made myself sick and/or didn't eat. I toyed around with men and enjoyed controlling them in order to regain some of the power that was taken from me. I played games. I based my esteem and worth on being desired by a man. I have chased dead-end relationships and ended up bruised and broken simply because I didn't think I was worth better. I have masked up the pain with alcohol. My heart has been covered in layer, upon layer, upon layer of heartache, pain, fear, terror, guilt, depression, anxiety, and a constant settling for second best.
Why am I telling you all this on a blog? Because I am not alone. The more I write, the more I worship, the more I seek and pursue God, the more people He brings into my life who have experienced or who are going through similar. The more I think about this, the more I realise that so many other people also have layers upon layers of baggage tied around their heart, weighing them down. And the more frustrated I get at the fact that we just don't talk about these things enough.
Well friends. Today there is freedom. Today there is hope. Today right now where you are there is release from darkness, freedom from death and destruction, and a binding up of broken-hearts through the power of the dying work of Jesus Christ. He died once and for all to take our punishment for us, to remove our guilt from us, to take our pain from us - so we don't have to hold onto it. This is for you too.
You know, I have worked long and hard through prayer, counselling, talking to church elders, more prayer, more reading of the Scriptures, speaking positive verses over myself and hoping and believing in better in order to overcome these issues and remove (often painfully) the layers surrounding my heart. I deserve to. You deserve to. I am not perfect. I still struggle, but guys my heart is free - it is not just patched up, it is renewed, fresh, new! I am no longer a slave to my past, but have hope in my future. I am no longer living in the darkess where these things once haunted me, I am living in the light and know that I am a child of God - the most High, I am a daughter of the King - a Princess. My God is for me! I no longer need to live my life in chains because the gospel is not in chains! It is freedom!
And God has the same for you! Just today I was talking to a friend struggling with relationship issues, and praise God that He has taken some of my experiences and used them for good in being able to help this dear daughter of the King and bind-up her broken heart. God has the same for her too - complete freedom from the pain she is currently facing. He has the same for you; He has the best for you. You do not have to live in the shadow of what you secretly desire and want, God has it all on offer for you right now. You do not have to live under the weight of your struggles and the baggage that surrounds your heart - you can have freedom in Christ, an eternal hope, joy, freedom, a never-ending comforter... in Jesus.
All you have to do is ask.
'Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.' Matthew 7v7
'Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.'
Matthew 11v28
'If God is for us, who can be against us?' Romans 8v31
I am not perfect yet, I don't have all of the answers yet, I have not made it yet, it is a process... but God makes things better! He makes a difference. He can reach down into the darkest pit, the loneliest chamber, the most secret place and bring light, hope, freedom....! Give God a try today. Definitely NOT for the faint hearted.
I'd like to end with this poem I wrote for my friend a few hours ago...
Don't let your fire burn out.
It might only be a small flame.
You might not even notice it at all.
But it's there. It's constant.
Don't let your fire burn out.
There may be winds blowing it in all directions.
But your God knows and will not snuff out a smouldering wick.
Don't let your fire burn out.
I know it's hard, but I am here.
I will uplift you when you falter
And catch you when you fall.
Don't let your fire burn out.
Don't let your fire burn out.
xxx
Thursday, 26 April 2012
Wednesday, 25 April 2012
Stand Still
I LOVE today's passage - 1 Samuel 12 - so many gems in it. There are 3 things I want to mention....
First off I want to mention this verse... basically the Israelites have complained and asked for a King like the other nations. Samuel is a bit like 'why do you need a King when you have God?' In fact he actually says in v 12 - 'you (the Israelites) said to me "No, we want a King to rule over us" - even though the Lord your God was your King'. How often do we play down the Lordship and authority of God? How often do we think 'right I'll just do this in my own strength' or 'my own way'. How much easier would things be if we actually acknowledged God's greatness and power. Do we fully rely on this and expect big things from it? Or do we dumb His power down and rely on ourselves too much?
So I want to ask...
How big is your God? Are you too reliant on worldly things or on others rather than presenting your requests to God? Sometimes we definitely need to rely on the Lordship, authority, wisdom, greatness and power of God first, rather than as a last resort!
Secondly, I LOVE this verse...
v16 'Now then, stand still and see thegreat thing the Lord is about to do before your eyes!'
I presume that now the Israelites have confessed their sins, left behind their idols and now realised their need to rely on God's power, that God is going to bless them. So my first question is - does our disobedience and self-reliance prevent God from moving in power? However, what strikes me more about this passage is the fact that Samuel specifically tells the Israelites to 'stand still' long enough for them to SEE the great things the Lord is about to do. So often we do all of this 'stuff' for God, and God is about to do something GREAT with it, but we are so stressed, so busy, so used to this fast-paced, high flying, rapid-moving life style and onto the next thing that we don't even hang around long enough to see God blessing our lives and our work. Oh my goodness - we neeeeeeeed to be STILL before the Lord, to take time out to look and watch what He is doing, to see the miracles He is performing! I think God is gracious to do miracles whether we look or not, and I am not saying God is a performer to be watched, but why should He act if we are not going to pay attention anyway?
Just the other day I looked out of the window and sat still for a minute. How green the grass was. How beautiful was the tree infront of my window. How awesome was the rain splattering on the ground. How beautiful were the blackbirds playing together in the garden. And how often do I miss this because I am so busy and do not take the time to be STILL for long enough to notice!
Finally, this verse tooooooootally humbled me and blew me away this morning.
1 Samuel 12v23
'As for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the Lord by failing to pray for you'
Woah. I didn't realise it was a sin not to pray for people. My goodness. This totally spoke volumes to me this morning, and I realised just how much more I should pray for others. What about you? What differences could we make if we all took the time to pray some more - just 2 minutes a day for someone? It is listed as a failure! I do not want to fail someone by not praying. Come on, let's love through prayer this week.
Challenging stuff. But so exciting at the same time. I hope you are blessed :)
First off I want to mention this verse... basically the Israelites have complained and asked for a King like the other nations. Samuel is a bit like 'why do you need a King when you have God?' In fact he actually says in v 12 - 'you (the Israelites) said to me "No, we want a King to rule over us" - even though the Lord your God was your King'. How often do we play down the Lordship and authority of God? How often do we think 'right I'll just do this in my own strength' or 'my own way'. How much easier would things be if we actually acknowledged God's greatness and power. Do we fully rely on this and expect big things from it? Or do we dumb His power down and rely on ourselves too much?
So I want to ask...
How big is your God? Are you too reliant on worldly things or on others rather than presenting your requests to God? Sometimes we definitely need to rely on the Lordship, authority, wisdom, greatness and power of God first, rather than as a last resort!
Secondly, I LOVE this verse...
v16 'Now then, stand still and see thegreat thing the Lord is about to do before your eyes!'
I presume that now the Israelites have confessed their sins, left behind their idols and now realised their need to rely on God's power, that God is going to bless them. So my first question is - does our disobedience and self-reliance prevent God from moving in power? However, what strikes me more about this passage is the fact that Samuel specifically tells the Israelites to 'stand still' long enough for them to SEE the great things the Lord is about to do. So often we do all of this 'stuff' for God, and God is about to do something GREAT with it, but we are so stressed, so busy, so used to this fast-paced, high flying, rapid-moving life style and onto the next thing that we don't even hang around long enough to see God blessing our lives and our work. Oh my goodness - we neeeeeeeed to be STILL before the Lord, to take time out to look and watch what He is doing, to see the miracles He is performing! I think God is gracious to do miracles whether we look or not, and I am not saying God is a performer to be watched, but why should He act if we are not going to pay attention anyway?
Just the other day I looked out of the window and sat still for a minute. How green the grass was. How beautiful was the tree infront of my window. How awesome was the rain splattering on the ground. How beautiful were the blackbirds playing together in the garden. And how often do I miss this because I am so busy and do not take the time to be STILL for long enough to notice!
Finally, this verse tooooooootally humbled me and blew me away this morning.
1 Samuel 12v23
'As for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the Lord by failing to pray for you'
Woah. I didn't realise it was a sin not to pray for people. My goodness. This totally spoke volumes to me this morning, and I realised just how much more I should pray for others. What about you? What differences could we make if we all took the time to pray some more - just 2 minutes a day for someone? It is listed as a failure! I do not want to fail someone by not praying. Come on, let's love through prayer this week.
Challenging stuff. But so exciting at the same time. I hope you are blessed :)
Monday, 23 April 2012
Transformed from the foundations
Oooooh I'm REALLY excited today. Just spent an amazing evening with Jacqueline and feel endlessly inspired. Love God conversations that just happen.
What I'm really excited about it just the realisation that one day I am going to preach. It is my dream. God has put a fire in my heart and words in my mouth that I just can't hold in... ooooh reminds me of Jeremiah 20v9 'His word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot'. But that's the cool thing. I want to preach so much because I believe so much that I have been annointed to bind up the broken hearted and to set captives free (Isaiah 61). And I know God is going to honour this desire and that His will will come to fulfillment in me, even if that means preaching. Ephesians 3v20 'He is able to do more than we can ask or imagine'. Woooop. See I'd secretly like to preach and share God's mighty word to 1000's of people and see 1000's of people saved..... now put that in context of Ephesians 3v20. What's your dream? Now put it in the Ephesians 3v20 context and dream on..... Dream big dreams and let God do the rest - more than you can ask or imagine!
Anyways nothing to do with what I was going to talk about today... So this morning I was praying for my school where I work. I was praying hard and really asking to make a difference there and to bring the presence of God to that place. That was great. I believe that happens. But it is not my responsibility. It is my job to be obedient to Christ and to let the Holy Spirit work through me to do that. I can relax because it is God who works in us, His Holy Spirit who works through us to act and bring about change. We just need to be willing and obedient....
Philippians 2v13 says 'for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose'. How cool is this! See for ages I have been trying to change people, to act, to make things happen, to hold things up, to hold things together. But it is GOD who does this. Wow. Pressure off.
My prayers led on this morning to a picture. I saw my school held up by matchsticks or really thin, flimsy branches that were breaking and splitting under the weight. God then showed me how I cannot hold the school up myself and make a difference myself. I am not the foundation of my workplace. He is. He needs to strengthen those who hold up the school i.e. the senior management. It is my job to pray for a strengthening of the foundations of the school i.e. the senior management. I cannot impliment change myself. But through prayer and holding up the leadership team in prayer I can make a difference. Enough trying on my own.
God then showed me a hole in the foundation of the school building and a light shining through the hole. The light is going to shine up through the foundations i.e. the senior management of the school so I need to pray for them, to strengthen the foundations. Interesting stuff.
How often do we try to impliment change ourselves. We get all excited about the sunday sermon (which was totally amazing yesterday - thanks Tim) and think, right time for ME to impact my workplace. Yes! And No!. How amazing that we want to make a difference. That is awesome. But it is GOD who changes, who alters, who strengthens, who breaks, who upholds, who is the rock and the firm foundation, not us. We need to be obedient to Him. We need to pray for the foundations of our workplaces - for the management, for those with responsibility, for the principalities and powers. And we need to watch God work - not try to do it ourselves.
Interesting thoughts. I'm not saying this is the total right attitude to have, just some thoughts I'm spiralling off. What do we think?
What I'm really excited about it just the realisation that one day I am going to preach. It is my dream. God has put a fire in my heart and words in my mouth that I just can't hold in... ooooh reminds me of Jeremiah 20v9 'His word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot'. But that's the cool thing. I want to preach so much because I believe so much that I have been annointed to bind up the broken hearted and to set captives free (Isaiah 61). And I know God is going to honour this desire and that His will will come to fulfillment in me, even if that means preaching. Ephesians 3v20 'He is able to do more than we can ask or imagine'. Woooop. See I'd secretly like to preach and share God's mighty word to 1000's of people and see 1000's of people saved..... now put that in context of Ephesians 3v20. What's your dream? Now put it in the Ephesians 3v20 context and dream on..... Dream big dreams and let God do the rest - more than you can ask or imagine!
Anyways nothing to do with what I was going to talk about today... So this morning I was praying for my school where I work. I was praying hard and really asking to make a difference there and to bring the presence of God to that place. That was great. I believe that happens. But it is not my responsibility. It is my job to be obedient to Christ and to let the Holy Spirit work through me to do that. I can relax because it is God who works in us, His Holy Spirit who works through us to act and bring about change. We just need to be willing and obedient....
Philippians 2v13 says 'for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose'. How cool is this! See for ages I have been trying to change people, to act, to make things happen, to hold things up, to hold things together. But it is GOD who does this. Wow. Pressure off.
My prayers led on this morning to a picture. I saw my school held up by matchsticks or really thin, flimsy branches that were breaking and splitting under the weight. God then showed me how I cannot hold the school up myself and make a difference myself. I am not the foundation of my workplace. He is. He needs to strengthen those who hold up the school i.e. the senior management. It is my job to pray for a strengthening of the foundations of the school i.e. the senior management. I cannot impliment change myself. But through prayer and holding up the leadership team in prayer I can make a difference. Enough trying on my own.
God then showed me a hole in the foundation of the school building and a light shining through the hole. The light is going to shine up through the foundations i.e. the senior management of the school so I need to pray for them, to strengthen the foundations. Interesting stuff.
How often do we try to impliment change ourselves. We get all excited about the sunday sermon (which was totally amazing yesterday - thanks Tim) and think, right time for ME to impact my workplace. Yes! And No!. How amazing that we want to make a difference. That is awesome. But it is GOD who changes, who alters, who strengthens, who breaks, who upholds, who is the rock and the firm foundation, not us. We need to be obedient to Him. We need to pray for the foundations of our workplaces - for the management, for those with responsibility, for the principalities and powers. And we need to watch God work - not try to do it ourselves.
Interesting thoughts. I'm not saying this is the total right attitude to have, just some thoughts I'm spiralling off. What do we think?
Saturday, 21 April 2012
Unhappy? Pray!
In a good place at the moment and feel really blessed - thanks! For the first time in ages I actually feel happy being single. Such a miracle, but one that I haven't given up praying for (just like a husband), and now my prayers are being answered because I'm finally content in my singleness. Awesome. Sometimes God puts us into places and we have no idea why. We can either choose to get bitter and angry or choose to accept it and do the best we can. So I choose the latter. I have no idea why I've been single for so long or why God has chosen it that I am single but I am so blessed in it. This is a prayer I wrote in thanks today which I wanted to share...
'Thank you God that I've realised that I'm not at a place to commit yet to a relationship and that that is ok. Thank you for helping me to realise and thank you for not putting me in a relationship!!!' Can you imagine that I had realised this whilst in a relationship. I am so blessed to be single.
Yet it isn't easy and I often get unhappy about it. Fortunately for me, today's reading kinda helped with this. Basically the Israelites were getting annoyed at not having a King or a head over them like all of the other nations did. So they complained to Samuel. 1Samuel8v6 says 'But when they said "Give us a King to lead us" this displeased Samuel, so he prayed to the Lord'.
Wow how often are we displeased about stuff? Work? People? Family issues? Lack of money? Singleness!? And how often do we actually 'pray to the Lord' about this stuff? Samuel was so right in his attitude - he took it straight away to God. And eventually God granted the nation a King. (Whether this was a good or bad thing I am yet to read, but still.) You see I believe God cares and listens to our heart cries, to our requests, to our struggles and to our battles. Why wouldn't we ask Him to help us if we are stuck?! I did and it helped no end!
'Thank you God that I've realised that I'm not at a place to commit yet to a relationship and that that is ok. Thank you for helping me to realise and thank you for not putting me in a relationship!!!' Can you imagine that I had realised this whilst in a relationship. I am so blessed to be single.
Yet it isn't easy and I often get unhappy about it. Fortunately for me, today's reading kinda helped with this. Basically the Israelites were getting annoyed at not having a King or a head over them like all of the other nations did. So they complained to Samuel. 1Samuel8v6 says 'But when they said "Give us a King to lead us" this displeased Samuel, so he prayed to the Lord'.
Wow how often are we displeased about stuff? Work? People? Family issues? Lack of money? Singleness!? And how often do we actually 'pray to the Lord' about this stuff? Samuel was so right in his attitude - he took it straight away to God. And eventually God granted the nation a King. (Whether this was a good or bad thing I am yet to read, but still.) You see I believe God cares and listens to our heart cries, to our requests, to our struggles and to our battles. Why wouldn't we ask Him to help us if we are stuck?! I did and it helped no end!
Tuesday, 17 April 2012
Pathways and Treasure - well cool!
Wow, I've just had a pure revelation and need to share.
Basically I was praying for my friend who is yet to know the Lord personally. I was praying that God would tunnel through the rock that has been formed around his heart and breathe life into his heart. And when I say tunnel through the rock, I mean tunnel through the crap that has built up over the years - the drug taking, the sexual relationships, the hard-heartedness, the barriers, the doubt....
It got me thinking about a few things which I thought were AMAZING!
On Sunday when walking to church I had a picture of really tall grass and me walking through it with other fellow Christians at WCC. The grass was long and it was tough to walk through, yet as we walked we trampled the grass and made a pathway.
Job 28v10 says
'(the people) tunnel through the rock; their eyes see all its treasures'
Isaiah 40v3 in reference to John the Baptist says
'Listen! It's the voice of someone shouting, "Clear the way through the wilderness for the LORD! Make a straight highway through the wasteland for our God'
Isaiah 43 talks about God
'making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland'
And then it became clear to me...
GOD WANTS US TO PREPARE PATHWAYS INTO PEOPLE'S HEARTS 'that the King of glory may come in' (Psalm 24)!
Perhaps instead of praying for people to be saved, we should be praying for a pathway for Jesus to come in. Perhaps we should focus more specifically on the things that are blocking or preventing Jesus coming into people's lives. Just as Helen preached a few months ago about 'mind the gap' we need to bridge the gaps in peoples lives and thus create pathways for Jesus to ride on into their lives. So often I just pray 'please let them know you' or 'please let them become a Christian'. But (and whereas that is effective and God hears my cry and knows my heart) how is that creating a pathway for Jesus to meet with that person?
I am so inspired.
'But we have this treasure in jars of clay' (2 Corinthians 4v7) - don't you think everyone has treasures in their hearts from God? Perhaps it is just a case of tunneling through the rock to get to it and release it?
Some interesting thoughts, not sure on the theological accuracy of some of it, but totally inspiring nontheless!
Have a blessed day and may God bless your prayers for those yet to know Him!
xxx
Basically I was praying for my friend who is yet to know the Lord personally. I was praying that God would tunnel through the rock that has been formed around his heart and breathe life into his heart. And when I say tunnel through the rock, I mean tunnel through the crap that has built up over the years - the drug taking, the sexual relationships, the hard-heartedness, the barriers, the doubt....
It got me thinking about a few things which I thought were AMAZING!
On Sunday when walking to church I had a picture of really tall grass and me walking through it with other fellow Christians at WCC. The grass was long and it was tough to walk through, yet as we walked we trampled the grass and made a pathway.
Job 28v10 says
'(the people) tunnel through the rock; their eyes see all its treasures'
Isaiah 40v3 in reference to John the Baptist says
'Listen! It's the voice of someone shouting, "Clear the way through the wilderness for the LORD! Make a straight highway through the wasteland for our God'
Isaiah 43 talks about God
'making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland'
And then it became clear to me...
GOD WANTS US TO PREPARE PATHWAYS INTO PEOPLE'S HEARTS 'that the King of glory may come in' (Psalm 24)!
Perhaps instead of praying for people to be saved, we should be praying for a pathway for Jesus to come in. Perhaps we should focus more specifically on the things that are blocking or preventing Jesus coming into people's lives. Just as Helen preached a few months ago about 'mind the gap' we need to bridge the gaps in peoples lives and thus create pathways for Jesus to ride on into their lives. So often I just pray 'please let them know you' or 'please let them become a Christian'. But (and whereas that is effective and God hears my cry and knows my heart) how is that creating a pathway for Jesus to meet with that person?
I am so inspired.
'But we have this treasure in jars of clay' (2 Corinthians 4v7) - don't you think everyone has treasures in their hearts from God? Perhaps it is just a case of tunneling through the rock to get to it and release it?
Some interesting thoughts, not sure on the theological accuracy of some of it, but totally inspiring nontheless!
Have a blessed day and may God bless your prayers for those yet to know Him!
xxx
Monday, 16 April 2012
You Have No Missed Calls
Wow, so totally, totally blessed today!
I've been stressing loads recently about a new potential job that has come up in the homeland i.e. back up North! I've totally been like, argh - what do I do? Do I apply? Do I stay here? What if it's not right, what if it is right...! Seriously, my head has been all over the place.
Then I read 1 Samuel 3 today. How awesome that God called Samuel 3 times before he realised it was God!
v4-10 'Then the LORD called Samuel. Samuel answered, “Here I am.” And he ran to Eli and said, “Here I am; you called me.” But Eli said, “I did not call; go back and lie down.” So he went and lay down. Again the LORD called, “Samuel!” And Samuel got up and went to Eli and said, “Here I am; you called me.” “My son,” Eli said, “I did not call; go back and lie down."... A third time the LORD called, “Samuel!” And Samuel got up and went to Eli and said, “Here I am; you called me.” Then Eli realized that the LORD was calling the boy. So Eli told Samuel, “Go and lie down, and if he calls you, say, ‘Speak, LORD, for your servant is listening.’” So Samuel went and lay down in his place. The LORD came and stood there, calling as at the other times, “Samuel! Samuel!”Then Samuel said, “Speak, for your servant is listening.”
The biggest thing that struck me here was if God wants you to do something, He'll tell you! Seriously. He is not going to let an opportunity of a lifetime pass you by! I worry so much about the future and if I have heard God right and have I missed something and what is He trying to say... I get so worked up that that I end up placing my worry and panic first, and let them cloud out God's voice. NO! If God wants you to do something, He will tell you!
The second amazing thing which totally struck me was in verse 7 which says
'Now Samuel did not yet know the Lord'
I think that line is awesome! Samuel was called before he even knew the Lord. God's power transcends the fact of whether we are Christians or not. He can use people regardless of their faith and religious views - if we are willing servants, ready to listen and to act, like Samuel. So amazing. I want to see and I believe we will see (as Peter Stott said) people being called by God in their dreams, people who are walking down their street and suddenly have a revelation of God. I want to see those who don't yet know God, suddenly having lightbulbs switch on in their hearts as God calls them. The people of our nation meeting with God, responding to His whisper and hearning His sweet voice calling them in their workplaces, in the shower, whilst washing the dishes. Come on God! Can you imagine - how awesome would it be? And I believe God does and can do that! More of it!
Love today!
:)
I've been stressing loads recently about a new potential job that has come up in the homeland i.e. back up North! I've totally been like, argh - what do I do? Do I apply? Do I stay here? What if it's not right, what if it is right...! Seriously, my head has been all over the place.
Then I read 1 Samuel 3 today. How awesome that God called Samuel 3 times before he realised it was God!
v4-10 'Then the LORD called Samuel. Samuel answered, “Here I am.” And he ran to Eli and said, “Here I am; you called me.” But Eli said, “I did not call; go back and lie down.” So he went and lay down. Again the LORD called, “Samuel!” And Samuel got up and went to Eli and said, “Here I am; you called me.” “My son,” Eli said, “I did not call; go back and lie down."... A third time the LORD called, “Samuel!” And Samuel got up and went to Eli and said, “Here I am; you called me.” Then Eli realized that the LORD was calling the boy. So Eli told Samuel, “Go and lie down, and if he calls you, say, ‘Speak, LORD, for your servant is listening.’” So Samuel went and lay down in his place. The LORD came and stood there, calling as at the other times, “Samuel! Samuel!”Then Samuel said, “Speak, for your servant is listening.”
The biggest thing that struck me here was if God wants you to do something, He'll tell you! Seriously. He is not going to let an opportunity of a lifetime pass you by! I worry so much about the future and if I have heard God right and have I missed something and what is He trying to say... I get so worked up that that I end up placing my worry and panic first, and let them cloud out God's voice. NO! If God wants you to do something, He will tell you!
The second amazing thing which totally struck me was in verse 7 which says
'Now Samuel did not yet know the Lord'
I think that line is awesome! Samuel was called before he even knew the Lord. God's power transcends the fact of whether we are Christians or not. He can use people regardless of their faith and religious views - if we are willing servants, ready to listen and to act, like Samuel. So amazing. I want to see and I believe we will see (as Peter Stott said) people being called by God in their dreams, people who are walking down their street and suddenly have a revelation of God. I want to see those who don't yet know God, suddenly having lightbulbs switch on in their hearts as God calls them. The people of our nation meeting with God, responding to His whisper and hearning His sweet voice calling them in their workplaces, in the shower, whilst washing the dishes. Come on God! Can you imagine - how awesome would it be? And I believe God does and can do that! More of it!
Love today!
:)
Friday, 13 April 2012
I am BLESSED!
I really feel it appropriate to write this today. I realise that a lot of my blogs lately have been all full of doom and gloom and misery. So today I feel it is only right to share some of the amazing ways in which I am totally blessed on my journey with God. Sometimes the journey is hard work. Sometimes we need a little bit of help and encouragement along the way, so hopefully these things will inspire you to also reflect on your blessings. On my gap year doing the Xelerate course with the Message Trust in Manchester, we started every morning off with worship and 'God is Top' in which we gave reasons why God had been 'top' the previous day. It really helped us to focus on the blessings rather than the harships. So let me do likewise....
1 - My heart is OK! As some of you know I had some crazy heart palpitations and had to have an ECG and various tests. The first doctor couldn't fathom out the reading saying that there was an abnormality, but after a tense 24 hours and a visit to another doctor it turned out to be OK. Not only this but the doctor was really lovely and helpful and listened to me, even when I burst into tears about how miserable and stressed I've been. He's an ex teacher too so totally understood! He's sorting me out good and proper so hopefully I'll be on the mend!
2 - God is flipping awesome - as a result of my heart scan, a work colleague of my mum is now going to the doctor to get her heart sorted as she has been unwell and has a history of heart troubles in her family. Praise God - sometimes we don't know why we go through stuff, but God sees the bigger picture. Let's hope she manages to find healing in this. Awesome!
3 - I woke up ridiculously early this morning but am so happy because I got to see the darkness fading into light. Praise God for His new mercies every morning and for the gift of a new day. I totally want to live each day to the full and am so grateful for an extra long day to enjoy today!
4 - God is amazing because I don't need to worry. I've been really stressing over various things lately - my job, relationships, where I should live, if I should move on, when I should move on, the next steps, money, etc. But you know, God has it all under control. There's nothing I can do that will make God love me any less. If I make a wrong decision or choose the wrong thing, yes there will be consequences, but His grace is sufficient - His grace is BIG enough to cover it. He has it sorted!
5 - I have amazing friends.
6 - I have amazing parents and an amazing brother - despite not always getting on, I am so grateful for them and that God placed me in this family - I would not be who I am without them and I am so grateful that I have been accepted, loved and allowed to be me. (Sick bucket..... lol... ).
7 - I have the best job in the world. I get 13 and a half weeks holiday every year and love every minute.
8 - Thursday night was fabulous - I managed to share my testimony with a stranger and convinced another that he was not an atheist, but merely agnostic. Progress! Lol. Pray for God to grow the seeds that have been planted!
9 - I am amazing. I should perhaps put this top of the list - I am that convinced. Praise God for who you are - you are all amazing too - fearfully and wonderfully made, precious, honoured, loved, belonging, valued, cherished, a daughter/son of a great King who is not a million miles away sat on a cloud with a long beard, but who is here with you looking out for you, looking over you, who wants to get to know you more!
10 - I am freeeeeeee! Free to choose, free from sin, free from all of the wrong things I have ever done, I have a new day and a new start today, so even the things I did wrong yesterday are in the past and I can begin again.
How about you guys? Why are you blessed? May God bless you abundantly today, even in the storms, even in the struggles.
:)
1 - My heart is OK! As some of you know I had some crazy heart palpitations and had to have an ECG and various tests. The first doctor couldn't fathom out the reading saying that there was an abnormality, but after a tense 24 hours and a visit to another doctor it turned out to be OK. Not only this but the doctor was really lovely and helpful and listened to me, even when I burst into tears about how miserable and stressed I've been. He's an ex teacher too so totally understood! He's sorting me out good and proper so hopefully I'll be on the mend!
2 - God is flipping awesome - as a result of my heart scan, a work colleague of my mum is now going to the doctor to get her heart sorted as she has been unwell and has a history of heart troubles in her family. Praise God - sometimes we don't know why we go through stuff, but God sees the bigger picture. Let's hope she manages to find healing in this. Awesome!
3 - I woke up ridiculously early this morning but am so happy because I got to see the darkness fading into light. Praise God for His new mercies every morning and for the gift of a new day. I totally want to live each day to the full and am so grateful for an extra long day to enjoy today!
4 - God is amazing because I don't need to worry. I've been really stressing over various things lately - my job, relationships, where I should live, if I should move on, when I should move on, the next steps, money, etc. But you know, God has it all under control. There's nothing I can do that will make God love me any less. If I make a wrong decision or choose the wrong thing, yes there will be consequences, but His grace is sufficient - His grace is BIG enough to cover it. He has it sorted!
5 - I have amazing friends.
6 - I have amazing parents and an amazing brother - despite not always getting on, I am so grateful for them and that God placed me in this family - I would not be who I am without them and I am so grateful that I have been accepted, loved and allowed to be me. (Sick bucket..... lol... ).
7 - I have the best job in the world. I get 13 and a half weeks holiday every year and love every minute.
8 - Thursday night was fabulous - I managed to share my testimony with a stranger and convinced another that he was not an atheist, but merely agnostic. Progress! Lol. Pray for God to grow the seeds that have been planted!
9 - I am amazing. I should perhaps put this top of the list - I am that convinced. Praise God for who you are - you are all amazing too - fearfully and wonderfully made, precious, honoured, loved, belonging, valued, cherished, a daughter/son of a great King who is not a million miles away sat on a cloud with a long beard, but who is here with you looking out for you, looking over you, who wants to get to know you more!
10 - I am freeeeeeee! Free to choose, free from sin, free from all of the wrong things I have ever done, I have a new day and a new start today, so even the things I did wrong yesterday are in the past and I can begin again.
How about you guys? Why are you blessed? May God bless you abundantly today, even in the storms, even in the struggles.
:)
Success is this way ----->
Just some thoughts I had today...
We are currently reading through Ruth.
Ruth did what people told her to do i.e. her mother-in-law told her to lie on the threshing floor where Boaz (her future husband) lay. So Ruth did. Who are we supposed to follow? How do we know when advice is good? What advice should I take - I don't always hear God so what should I do? What do you do when God is quiet? Who's advice should you follow?
(Interestingly here - why would Ruth share a sleeping space with Boaz - is that not just staring temptation in the face? - Just an aside.)
Boaz did everything right and according to God - i.e. he knew he was not the next of kin in line to take on Ruth's deceased husband's land and wife. He could have just gone for it and taken it, but he did right in the sight of God asking the relatives next in line, before himself, therefore he had success and Ruth eventually became his new wife (which he wanted). Interesting. Do what God wants, and you will have success. But what if you really don't want to? Will you still be successful? Will you make a mess? What if you already have made some bad decisions? How do you face the consequences? Is all lost?
I like the footnote in theNIV study Bible on Ruth4.
'We must make our choices with God's eternal values in mind. Taking moral shortcuts and living for short-term pleasures are not good ways to move ahead. Because of Ruth's faithful obedience, her life and legacy were significant even though she couldn't see all the results. Live in faithfulness to God, knowing that the significance of your life will extend beyond your lifetime. The rewards will outweigh any sacrifice you have made.'
Interesting stuff. But how, when you just don't want to?
Tips? Thoughts? Comments?
xx
We are currently reading through Ruth.
Ruth did what people told her to do i.e. her mother-in-law told her to lie on the threshing floor where Boaz (her future husband) lay. So Ruth did. Who are we supposed to follow? How do we know when advice is good? What advice should I take - I don't always hear God so what should I do? What do you do when God is quiet? Who's advice should you follow?
(Interestingly here - why would Ruth share a sleeping space with Boaz - is that not just staring temptation in the face? - Just an aside.)
Boaz did everything right and according to God - i.e. he knew he was not the next of kin in line to take on Ruth's deceased husband's land and wife. He could have just gone for it and taken it, but he did right in the sight of God asking the relatives next in line, before himself, therefore he had success and Ruth eventually became his new wife (which he wanted). Interesting. Do what God wants, and you will have success. But what if you really don't want to? Will you still be successful? Will you make a mess? What if you already have made some bad decisions? How do you face the consequences? Is all lost?
I like the footnote in theNIV study Bible on Ruth4.
'We must make our choices with God's eternal values in mind. Taking moral shortcuts and living for short-term pleasures are not good ways to move ahead. Because of Ruth's faithful obedience, her life and legacy were significant even though she couldn't see all the results. Live in faithfulness to God, knowing that the significance of your life will extend beyond your lifetime. The rewards will outweigh any sacrifice you have made.'
Interesting stuff. But how, when you just don't want to?
Tips? Thoughts? Comments?
xx
Wednesday, 11 April 2012
One Direction!
I was thinking this morning about paths and journeys. They can all take different formats. My journey at the moment is difficult - I have no idea what lies ahead or what to do about my future and it scares me! Where am I headed? What job should I do? Should I move back up North? What is God saying? Will my health be ok? How will I afford stuff? What does God have planned? Definitely need to trust God more and stop worrying!
Our paths can take any number of styles and can go through many different terrains. I have (hopefully) put a few inspiring images here to reflect upon (you can definitely tell I'm a teacher - I like to cater for the visual learners also!). Here are some thoughts I had:
- Sometimes the path may be plain sailing and it feels like we are at peace, at rest, enjoying the view - a bit like a beautiful stroll on the beach at sunset with the water lapping at our feet. Everything seems ok with the world. Yet I am reminded here of the struggle also - and the footprints poem, where two sets of footprints (one belonging to the walker, one belonging to God) suddenly turned into one set. It was then that God carried the walker. In our tough times, God carries us! Awesome.
- Other times the path may be full of twists and turns. It can be quite windy and almost unsettling. We long for a straight highway where there is no sickness or dizziness. But this can also be fun, exciting, full of adventure, surprising and also make us appreciative of the times God brings us to a clear, open pathway.
- Sometimes our path can become arid and cracked and dry. We need refreshing. We need water. We need comfort. How amazing that if we choose God, we will never thirst. He satisfies our needs. He quenches our thirst. Perhaps, if this is your path right now, why don't you sit and soak up the love and eternal refreshing water that God has to offer?
- Other times the path can be like one uphill struggle and battle. We feel crushed, bruised, battered, windswept, lacking in energy and like we can't go on. The easiest thing to do would be to turn around and go back down the mountain. But if we don't climb the mountains we never get to see the awesome view at the top and we don't learn as much or experience as much. Plus we can rejoice in the things we overcome along the way. Sometimes during these times it is worth celebrating each step you take towards the top, rather than beating yourself up over the distance left to climb.
- One of my favourite pieces of advice is that 'mountain top experiences are great but if you live on the mountain there is no air and so nothing grows'. Things grow in the valley where is is luscious and moist and full of life! Even in the valley times, you are there for a reason. They may seem hard, but they are there for a reason. Similarly desert experiences can be testing, but the desert often takes you to a quiet place, away from the noise and commotion of life so you can focus solely upon God.
So, I was praying about my journey and my path the other day and asking God for direction. I happened to be doing the washing up at the time, and, just as I prayed for direction, the next thing I picked to wash up was my housemate's 'ONE DIRECTION' mug (as in the X Factor boy band One Direction). It was so funny - I was like 'thanks God'. But it really rang a bell and struck a chord. Paths and terrains change. We go through different seasons, we see different views and landscapes, we experience different challenges, twists and turns. But at the end of the day the most important thing is the direction you are going in. Are you headed for eternity with Christ? Or are you running up the wrong path? Are you focussed on life to the full, grace, love, comfort, compassion, eternal life, freedom, redemption, joy, peace, and all of the many wonderful things that blossom from walking the path with Christ, or are you too bothered about worldly treasures, your walking shoes, what you look like, keeping the same scenery or whatever to notice that you may be on the wrong path?
Where is your path headed? Are you certain of what there will be at the end? Are you headed in 'one direction' or are you too distracted by other things that you don't notice that perhaps you have wondered off track? (Remember Red Riding Hood who was told to stick to the path in the forest, but instead wondered off to pick flowers and look at the butterflies? She ended up encountering the wolf!).
But whatever your path, whatever stage you are at, whether walking, running, sprinting, crawling... let us remember that God walks with us wherever we go, He will never leave us or forsake us (Joshua 1v9), He has plans to prosper us and give us hope (Jeremiah 29v11), He goes before us to level the mountains (Isaiah 45v2) and will make our paths straight (Proverbs 3v6). And if we do go off track, we have a great God who is full of grace and who will reach down and pick us up and set us on our way again.
Have a blessed journey today.
Sunday, 8 April 2012
When plans don't work according to plan!
As a rather tenuous link and perhaps unusual way of looking at things, today I read John 20 where Mary Magdelene finds the tomb stone rolled away and Jesus' body gone.
'Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance. So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don’t know where they have put him!”(v1-2).
Several things struck me here - firstly the importance given to women and the value given to 'sinners' (Mary Magdelene was a prostitute) is outstanding. I love the way the Bible takes the weak and the vulnerable and gives them identity and importance.
Secondly - the proof that Jesus rose from the dead is amazing. There is no bolt of lightening to announce his rising; no trumpet sounding, no red carpet... It just happens as if it were the most natural thing. Just an ordinary situation in which God works a miracle. God can work the extraordinary in our ordinary lives too!
Thirdly, and possibly the most meaningful for me at present - Mary's response to the unexpected. Let me expand. Mary turns up to the tomb ready to embalm Jesus' body and to mourn His death. Yet her plans become obselete as she turns up and finds the stone rolled away and Jesus gone! So what does she do? Runs to tell the other disciples, and starts weeping. Of course she is saddened by Jesus' death, but she is also so distraught at the change of plan that she fails to recognise Jesus when He comes to talk to her.
This made me think - and here is where it gets a bit tenuous - but I have a point. Sometimes we find ourselves in situations we never dreamed of being in. Sometimes we have a life plan that we are desperate to fulfil. There is nothing wrong with that, infact I think these are good and positive things to do, and God puts desires in our hearts. But at the same time, I believe that we need to be prepared and ready for God's plan, and for changes to our own. You see sometimes God has a better plan, a more fulfilling plan, a plan that goes beyond our own expectations and ideas. And sometimes we are so busy trying to fulfil our own plans that we fail to notice or recognise what God is doing.
You see at the moment I am totally at a loss as to why I am in Watford as you know! I miss my family terribly. I come home and life just isn't the same. It is really hard. Relationships are strained, I feel out of place, I am unhappy and totally unsettled. Yet for some reason I have been called to Watford for the time being. This definitely wasn't my plan. I still don't know why this is in the plan either. But I do know that God is working and has worked massively in my life. I don't wish to fail to recognise what He is doing and has done.
What about you? Are you mourning and weeping over an empty tomb intead of recognising the life and better plans which God has for you just ahead? Are you so intent on things going your way that when they don't you panic and fail to recognise what God is doing? Interesting thoughts.
Sometimes God's plans are difficult, but He has plans to prosper you and give you hope and a future (Jeremiah 29v11). Sometimes we do not see what God is doing, but He is working everything out for our good (Romans 8v28). Trust God today, and trust in what He is doing. I'm sure Jesus didn't plan to die, but instead He submitted to His Father's will, which had the greater good and eternal purposes.
I leave you with this:
'Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.' Proverbs 3v5-6.
Happy Easter!
'Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance. So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don’t know where they have put him!”(v1-2).
Several things struck me here - firstly the importance given to women and the value given to 'sinners' (Mary Magdelene was a prostitute) is outstanding. I love the way the Bible takes the weak and the vulnerable and gives them identity and importance.
Secondly - the proof that Jesus rose from the dead is amazing. There is no bolt of lightening to announce his rising; no trumpet sounding, no red carpet... It just happens as if it were the most natural thing. Just an ordinary situation in which God works a miracle. God can work the extraordinary in our ordinary lives too!
Thirdly, and possibly the most meaningful for me at present - Mary's response to the unexpected. Let me expand. Mary turns up to the tomb ready to embalm Jesus' body and to mourn His death. Yet her plans become obselete as she turns up and finds the stone rolled away and Jesus gone! So what does she do? Runs to tell the other disciples, and starts weeping. Of course she is saddened by Jesus' death, but she is also so distraught at the change of plan that she fails to recognise Jesus when He comes to talk to her.
This made me think - and here is where it gets a bit tenuous - but I have a point. Sometimes we find ourselves in situations we never dreamed of being in. Sometimes we have a life plan that we are desperate to fulfil. There is nothing wrong with that, infact I think these are good and positive things to do, and God puts desires in our hearts. But at the same time, I believe that we need to be prepared and ready for God's plan, and for changes to our own. You see sometimes God has a better plan, a more fulfilling plan, a plan that goes beyond our own expectations and ideas. And sometimes we are so busy trying to fulfil our own plans that we fail to notice or recognise what God is doing.
You see at the moment I am totally at a loss as to why I am in Watford as you know! I miss my family terribly. I come home and life just isn't the same. It is really hard. Relationships are strained, I feel out of place, I am unhappy and totally unsettled. Yet for some reason I have been called to Watford for the time being. This definitely wasn't my plan. I still don't know why this is in the plan either. But I do know that God is working and has worked massively in my life. I don't wish to fail to recognise what He is doing and has done.
What about you? Are you mourning and weeping over an empty tomb intead of recognising the life and better plans which God has for you just ahead? Are you so intent on things going your way that when they don't you panic and fail to recognise what God is doing? Interesting thoughts.
Sometimes God's plans are difficult, but He has plans to prosper you and give you hope and a future (Jeremiah 29v11). Sometimes we do not see what God is doing, but He is working everything out for our good (Romans 8v28). Trust God today, and trust in what He is doing. I'm sure Jesus didn't plan to die, but instead He submitted to His Father's will, which had the greater good and eternal purposes.
I leave you with this:
'Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.' Proverbs 3v5-6.
Happy Easter!
Friday, 6 April 2012
Another GOOD Friday
Wow, what was that thought I had this morning? It went something like this 'oh no, another Good Friday - boring...'. Woahhhhh! Hold on a minute there. Lord, I am SO sorry! As we reflect on the cross and what Jesus has done for us this year, let us not become bored and ritualistic - another hot cross bun, another church service, once more singing 'He has risen'. After so many years of being a Christian (and I am just being honest here) there can be the tendency to become dispondant and forget about the real reason for Easter!
Guys! This weekend let's remember Jesus' sacrifice, the tearing of the curtain, the direct access we now have to God, freedom from sin, forgiveness, hope, life, all of the rubbish and hurt and pain I have ever caused and also received being forgiven and taken away, being healed by His wounds... this is not light-hearted stuff!
Thank you Jesus!
To finish this blog I would like to share a poem I wrote in 2002 which reflects on Jesus' death and the apathy we sometimes have...
'Today I woke up Lord and I didn't want to make an effort, I didn't want to be a Christian today. I woke up and thought I'd just leave it all behind. I thought I'd just live this life and not think of You. Today I woke up Lord and I didn't want to pray. I turned my back and denied all knowledge of You. I didn't feel like praising You, despite what You have done for me. I didn't have that passion and I wasn;t really bothered. I woke up and I thought that there was no point trying. And today I thought I'd leave the sick, homeless and hungry. I'll watch the world disasters and societies decline. I couldn't be bothered today Lord.
Today I woke up Lord and You stood there watching me just as You had been all through the night, and the lifetime before. Today I woke up and I saw Your eyes filled with love for me. I saw tears trickle down Your cheek as I looked away. I felt Your arms hold me and saw You grip me tight. Lord I saw the excitement in Your face as You continued preparing my place in heaven; watched You polish my crown which had grown tarnished. I saw You as I see You every day working flat out drawing plans for my life accurately making everything come together. Today Lord I saw You give me what I had asked for, heard You sing a song of love You wrote for me. I sneaked a look at You; I watched You as You carefully wrapped hundreds of gifts each labelled with my name, gifts You long to give to me. I also saw You sweeping aside the junk I'd placed before You. You cleared it like it didn't matter; didn't bother You how much I'd hurt You. Yes, You turned a blind eye to that and continued to look at me in love. I know this morning Lord, You couldn't find me because I had run away. I tried to hide from You yet You looked and looked until Your feet were shredded and blistered from the many miles You'd run trying to find me. And today I witnessed this: You hung Your own Son on a tree instead of me to take my punishment. With nails piercing His hands and feet You stood back and watched. And I jeered and celebrated and spat in Your face. But I saw You sacrifice Your only one child so that I could walk freely across the bridge which led to You. You watched as I hammered nails into His perfect skin; skin that contained no wrong. I forgot that that cross had my name on. Today Lord You watched me as I turned my back and walked away.
I can't be bothered today Lord.'
Have a GOOD Good Friday! xxx
Guys! This weekend let's remember Jesus' sacrifice, the tearing of the curtain, the direct access we now have to God, freedom from sin, forgiveness, hope, life, all of the rubbish and hurt and pain I have ever caused and also received being forgiven and taken away, being healed by His wounds... this is not light-hearted stuff!
Thank you Jesus!
To finish this blog I would like to share a poem I wrote in 2002 which reflects on Jesus' death and the apathy we sometimes have...
'Today I woke up Lord and I didn't want to make an effort, I didn't want to be a Christian today. I woke up and thought I'd just leave it all behind. I thought I'd just live this life and not think of You. Today I woke up Lord and I didn't want to pray. I turned my back and denied all knowledge of You. I didn't feel like praising You, despite what You have done for me. I didn't have that passion and I wasn;t really bothered. I woke up and I thought that there was no point trying. And today I thought I'd leave the sick, homeless and hungry. I'll watch the world disasters and societies decline. I couldn't be bothered today Lord.
Today I woke up Lord and You stood there watching me just as You had been all through the night, and the lifetime before. Today I woke up and I saw Your eyes filled with love for me. I saw tears trickle down Your cheek as I looked away. I felt Your arms hold me and saw You grip me tight. Lord I saw the excitement in Your face as You continued preparing my place in heaven; watched You polish my crown which had grown tarnished. I saw You as I see You every day working flat out drawing plans for my life accurately making everything come together. Today Lord I saw You give me what I had asked for, heard You sing a song of love You wrote for me. I sneaked a look at You; I watched You as You carefully wrapped hundreds of gifts each labelled with my name, gifts You long to give to me. I also saw You sweeping aside the junk I'd placed before You. You cleared it like it didn't matter; didn't bother You how much I'd hurt You. Yes, You turned a blind eye to that and continued to look at me in love. I know this morning Lord, You couldn't find me because I had run away. I tried to hide from You yet You looked and looked until Your feet were shredded and blistered from the many miles You'd run trying to find me. And today I witnessed this: You hung Your own Son on a tree instead of me to take my punishment. With nails piercing His hands and feet You stood back and watched. And I jeered and celebrated and spat in Your face. But I saw You sacrifice Your only one child so that I could walk freely across the bridge which led to You. You watched as I hammered nails into His perfect skin; skin that contained no wrong. I forgot that that cross had my name on. Today Lord You watched me as I turned my back and walked away.
I can't be bothered today Lord.'
Have a GOOD Good Friday! xxx
You most definitely should be in the world!
Ooops, so I was a day late reading this and should really have posten yesterday but I LOVE the verse in John 17 in which Jesus prays...
'My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one'
Jesus said it so well! We are TOTALLY called to be IN THE WORLD just not 'of it'. So often I find that Christians hang about in their little church bubbles, hanging out with Christians, eating with Christians, working with Christians and literally breathing Christians. Whilst this is good and whilst I agree completely that fellowship and relationships with Christians are vital (you often become who you hang out with - and therefore being surrounded by good people who will encourage you in your faith is vital) I do think there can be a tendency to live 'in the bubble'. We are called to be in the world not in some holy bubble whilst living here on earth.
Let me ask a question. When was the last time you hung out with a someone who doesn't believe? Isn't our calling to be witnesses to the ends of the earth (Acts 1v8)? Aren't we told to make disciples of all nations (Matthew 28v19). Don't we need to bind up the broken hearted and bring freedom for the captives (Isaiah 61)? Why so often do we preach to the converted? How can we advance the Kingdom of God if we only ever hang out with those already in it? And in doing so, rather than quickly running back to our little cosy, comfortable bubbles, we should be getting out there and praying for protection from the evil one, who by the way cannot touch us as we are born of God (1 John 5v18). We have been given authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to ovecome the power of the enemy (Luke 10v19), so why do we so often insist on taking the easy option out?
When was the last time you hung out with someone who doesn't believe and had an impact?
'My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one'
Jesus said it so well! We are TOTALLY called to be IN THE WORLD just not 'of it'. So often I find that Christians hang about in their little church bubbles, hanging out with Christians, eating with Christians, working with Christians and literally breathing Christians. Whilst this is good and whilst I agree completely that fellowship and relationships with Christians are vital (you often become who you hang out with - and therefore being surrounded by good people who will encourage you in your faith is vital) I do think there can be a tendency to live 'in the bubble'. We are called to be in the world not in some holy bubble whilst living here on earth.
Let me ask a question. When was the last time you hung out with a someone who doesn't believe? Isn't our calling to be witnesses to the ends of the earth (Acts 1v8)? Aren't we told to make disciples of all nations (Matthew 28v19). Don't we need to bind up the broken hearted and bring freedom for the captives (Isaiah 61)? Why so often do we preach to the converted? How can we advance the Kingdom of God if we only ever hang out with those already in it? And in doing so, rather than quickly running back to our little cosy, comfortable bubbles, we should be getting out there and praying for protection from the evil one, who by the way cannot touch us as we are born of God (1 John 5v18). We have been given authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to ovecome the power of the enemy (Luke 10v19), so why do we so often insist on taking the easy option out?
When was the last time you hung out with someone who doesn't believe and had an impact?
Wednesday, 4 April 2012
Conformity versus unconformity!
¡Hola! Wow, I have potentially a lot to say today…! I really pray it falls on good soil and that my heart intentions are clear because I do not wish to offend anyone.
First of all, the last few days have been incredibly spent with the lovely Joanne in Barcelona. Our deep conversations and putting of the world to rights really highlighted some things for me which I need to sort out. So the first thing is actually a confession and an apology. Basically for quite a while in my journey I have been carrying some extra weight which I don’t need to. I have been quite angry and bitter towards some friends from places I have lived in in the past, and taken offense at certain lifestyle choices and things which I really shouldn’t have. It is loosely linked in with today’s theme, so firstly I’m sorry.
Secondly God has really been speaking to me a lot about conformity versus unconformity. Several things have led to my thinking on this. Today’s journal reading was from John 15 in which Jesus talks about the vine and the branches and about producing fruit. We read in John’s gospel that God ‘chose’ and ‘appointed’ us to bear fruit (John 15v16). He also ‘cuts off every branch in (us) that bears no fruit’ (John 15v2). What a relief! You know I think sometimes we try so hard to produce so much fruit ourselves that we become withered and tired out. I certainly do. Additionally I believe that we often have a tendency to look around at the kind of fruit everyone else is producing and try to do likewise, producing the same kind of fruit as everyone else. Church, this has got to stop! God chose us to bear fruit – fruit that He grows – not fruit that comes from someone else or from trying to conform to the ‘church norm’. No. God chose us, as individuals to bear our own fruit. And may many people come and taste of this fruit!
Just tonight at community group I had a picture of a branch bearing lots of fruit of the same kind. It was really plump, juicy, ripe fruit, but it was all the same kind of fruit. An apple tree can only produce apples. It cannot produce bananas. An orange tree can only produce oranges. No matter how hard it tries, it cannot produce apples. In fact fruit trees are so secure in their identity that they don’t even try to produce other types of fruit. What would the point in that be? So my meaning here is; Guys! – let’s bear the fruit that God produces in us and be secure in that! Let’s not just copy the crowd and add to ‘church stereotypes’ through conformity, let’s be bold and proud to bear the fruit that God has chosen for us.
To follow, and still sticking to this theme, John 15v4 says ‘remain in me (God) and I will remain in you (us)’. I love this verse. In fact today this had a whole new meaning for me. Rather than ‘remain in the cultural norms of our church’ and ‘follow the crowd’, let’s remain in God and in what God is doing, even if that means not conforming to church tradition and culture! Let’s be unconformist in our conformity to Christ and let us be transformed by this, through the renewing of our minds (Romans 12v2) and the way in which we revel in church culture. I strongly believe there is a huge barrier to us as Christians in that how much of our faith is actually based on God, and how much of it is just cultural norms and the following of tradition? I refuse to set up a standing order to church for my offering and tithe, because in doing that it becomes tradition and I would not even think about it. Instead, I pray each month about how much to give and who to give it to. Usually it is the church in general, but sometimes it may be an individual within the church. A lot of people feel pressure to live ‘this’ way, or do this ‘thing’ or sing ‘this’ song because ‘it’s what you do’. No! That’s conformity, tradition and religion – not God necessarily, (please feel free to argue my point, many of these things have their own time and season too – they are not necessarily wrong, they are just things I’ve been thinking about lately).
You know the real reason I need to apologise to friends here? At the risk of being too honest, I’ll tell you. God has been doing amazing things amongst my friends. They are wonderful people, I love them dearly, and I hate to think that I have harboured some grudges against some of them. The majority of my friends have been extremely blessed to find partners and get married. I would say 95% of people I hung out with 3-5 years ago are now married. I am not. But that’s ok. For a while I was angry and bitter. I thought this was what I was supposed to do as a Christian and that because I was still single, I had failed and had not ‘made it’. I was trying to bear other people’s fruit, rather than my own. I was ‘remaining’ in the blessings that were given to my friends, and not remaining in God and the blessings that He was and is pouring out on me. I was so wrong! As a result of this, things didn’t work out for me and I got angry. I got too hung up over what I perceived to be ‘the norm’ and where I actually was in reality. Having a partner is just not right for me at the moment. And that’s fine. If one day God decides to bless me with one, then excellent. If not, excellent too! So, I got angry at my friends because of something I was doing i.e. not bearing my own fruit and/or trying to bear the wrong sort. So for any grudges or anger or bitterness I am sorry.
So to wrap up, I don’t know if this makes sense. I’m not sure if I have said too much here, but if God can use it, then I don’t really mind! I guess my closing inspiration today is: bear the fruit God is growing in you – not the fruit He is growing in someone else – even if that means not conforming to the ‘norm’.
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