I just love Job. It makes me love God more! Again, we have seen how this righteous man has had his whole life torn and ripped apart by disaster upon disaster. His children and cattle have been killed, he is riddled with illness, his friends are useless and his wife is even complaining against him.
It's pretty obvious that this guy is utterly depressed, suicidal, miserable, and does not want to go on. Who would? BUT what I love most about Job is his honesty. He says it like it is. He tells his friends how he feels. He isn't shy in revealing his emotions and turmoil. He is angry with God and admits it. Well done Job.
Now this really encourages me. Without getting too personal, (although actually it's a bit hard for me not to be), I don't mind sharing the fact that I struggle massively with depression and have done since a very young age. With this comes anger, frustration, bitterness, elation, ecstasy, loathing, hyperactivity, loss of appetite, anxiety attacks, headaches, stress, the inability to hold down a relationship and loads more craziness. The most annoying thing (which kinda makes it harder in a way) is that I have absolutely nothing to be depressed about. It literally is a chemical imbalance and disorder that I am facing. The last few months have been quiet on the blog front as I have really been struggling and been back and forward to doctors and so on. (No sympathy please I'm just illustrating a point and really want God to use this for His glory). Some days it is enough to get up for work and get through the day, let alone spend hours pouring over the Bible, praying and so on. This makes me feel worse because then I feel like a terrible Christian. As do the vices I sometimes use to numb the heartache. I'm not ashamed about this but, just like Job poured out his heart and wore his emotions on the inside out, so I am encouraged in my darkness. How many 1000's of people has Job encouraged through his openness? He certainly helps me!
So Job says the following...
If only there were someone to mediate between us,
someone to bring us together, someone to remove God's rod from me, so that his terror would frighten me no more. Then I would speak up without fear of him,
but as it now stands with me, I cannot. (Job 9:33-35 NIV)
For Job right now, it appears he cannot face God. In his deepest darkness it is too much for him to talk to God. He doesn't stop believing (although I imagine his faith takes a battering!) and he still holds on to Biblical truths and his knowledge of God. But in this tough time, comprehending God on top of everything else is just not a reality. It takes a process, time and a touch from God to lift him up.
Similarly, we can often find it toooo much to talk to God. Yes we should, we know that. But if Job, an awesome example of faith and trust can't at times, surely God understands if we are genuinely not up to it! There's one less thing to be down about!!! And sometimes the worst thing someone can say when people are that low is 'tell God'. Yes do. But when the last drop of life you have is needed for breathing through the next minute, I think God understands. Correct me if I'm wrong. This is only one angle to a complex issue.
Next, the thing I love about Job is that despite everything he knows that 'Indeed, this will turn out for (his) deliverance...'(Job 13:16 NIV). Absolutely awesome. In spite of his suffering he knows that God will turn this time around and bring deliverance. Note that Job isn't striving to bring this about himself, but in his weakness relies on God to bring deliverance to him. Know this in your darkness. I know in mine I often strive, strive, strive to fix things, figure it out, mend things and then mess them up even more... In my darkness I often do not have the strength to get out of bed, let alone bring about my deliverance. We need to trust God for this, even if that means doing nothing! God knows even if we don't. He understands even if we don't.
Finally I love this verse 'in the face of the darkness light is near' (Job 17:12 NIV). It's so comforting to know that even though our eyes may even be blinded by the dark, light is near. Even though the darkness may stop us from seeing it, the light is near. So awesome. Sometimes knowing this is the only thing that keeps me going. I could never walk in depression without the hope that my God is there with me, has plans for me, is my strength, is my deliverer... Yes sometimes it takes a while. Sometimes it is a process. Sometimes I go realllly low before I get picked up but I do it all in God! And may He use this for His glory for 'He views the ends of the earth
and sees everything under the heavens' (Job 28:24 NIV).
So. Will it all work out for Job? Will God come to the rescue? Does he recover? .... Well I would leave you to read on, but we all know the answer!!!
Praise God and His faithfulness!
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