Conformity versus unconformity!

¡Hola!  Wow, I have potentially a lot to say today…!  I really pray it falls on good soil and that my heart intentions are clear because I do not wish to offend anyone.

First of all, the last few days have been incredibly spent with the lovely Joanne in Barcelona.  Our deep conversations and putting of the world to rights really highlighted some things for me which I need to sort out.  So the first thing is actually a confession and an apology.  Basically for quite a while in my journey I have been carrying some extra weight which I don’t need to.  I have been quite angry and bitter towards some friends from places I have lived in in the past, and taken offense at certain lifestyle choices and things which I really shouldn’t have.  It is loosely linked in with today’s theme, so firstly I’m sorry. 

Secondly God has really been speaking to me a lot about conformity versus unconformity.  Several things have led to my thinking on this.  Today’s journal reading was from John 15 in which Jesus talks about the vine and the branches and about producing fruit.   We read in John’s gospel that God ‘chose’ and ‘appointed’ us to bear fruit (John 15v16).  He also ‘cuts off every branch in (us) that bears no fruit’ (John 15v2).  What a relief!  You know I think sometimes we try so hard to produce so much fruit ourselves that we become withered and tired out.  I certainly do.  Additionally I believe that we often have a tendency to look around at the kind of fruit everyone else is producing and try to do likewise, producing the same kind of fruit as everyone else.  Church, this has got to stop!  God chose us to bear fruit – fruit that He grows – not fruit that comes from someone else or from trying to conform to the ‘church norm’.  No.  God chose us, as individuals to bear our own fruit.  And may many people come and taste of this fruit!

Just tonight at community group I had a picture of a branch bearing lots of fruit of the same kind.  It was really plump, juicy, ripe fruit, but it was all the same kind of fruit.  An apple tree can only produce apples.  It cannot produce bananas. An orange tree can only produce oranges. No matter how hard it tries, it cannot produce apples.  In fact fruit trees are so secure in their identity that they don’t even try to produce other types of fruit.  What would the point in that be?  So my meaning here is; Guys! – let’s bear the fruit that God produces in us and be secure in that!  Let’s not just copy the crowd and add to ‘church stereotypes’ through conformity, let’s be bold and proud to bear the fruit that God has chosen for us.

To follow, and still sticking to this theme, John 15v4 says ‘remain in me (God) and I will remain in you (us)’.  I love this verse.  In fact today this had a whole new meaning for me.  Rather than ‘remain in the cultural norms of our church’ and ‘follow the crowd’, let’s remain in God and in what God is doing, even if that means not conforming to church tradition and culture!  Let’s be unconformist in our conformity to Christ and let us be transformed by this, through the renewing of our minds (Romans 12v2) and the way in which we revel in church culture.  I strongly believe there is a huge barrier to us as Christians in that how much of our faith is actually based on God, and how much of it is just cultural norms and the following of tradition?  I refuse to set up a standing order to church for my offering and tithe, because in doing that it becomes tradition and I would not even think about it.  Instead, I pray each month about how much to give and who to give it to.  Usually it is the church in general, but sometimes it may be an individual within the church.  A lot of people feel pressure to live ‘this’ way, or do this ‘thing’ or sing ‘this’ song because ‘it’s what you do’.  No!  That’s conformity, tradition and religion – not God necessarily, (please feel free to argue my point, many of these things have their own time and season too – they are not necessarily wrong, they are just things I’ve been thinking about lately).

You know the real reason I need to apologise to friends here?  At the risk of being too honest, I’ll tell you.  God has been doing amazing things amongst my friends.  They are wonderful people, I love them dearly, and I hate to think that I have harboured some grudges against some of them.  The majority of my friends have been extremely blessed to find partners and get married.  I would say 95% of people I hung out with 3-5 years ago are now married.  I am not.  But that’s ok.  For a while I was angry and bitter.  I thought this was what I was supposed to do as a Christian and that because I was still single, I had failed and had not ‘made it’.  I was trying to bear other people’s fruit, rather than my own.  I was ‘remaining’ in the blessings that were given to my friends, and not remaining in God and the blessings that He was and is pouring out on me.  I was so wrong!  As a result of this, things didn’t work out for me and I got angry.  I got too hung up over what I perceived to be ‘the norm’ and where I actually was in reality.  Having a partner is just not right for me at the moment.  And that’s fine.  If one day God decides to bless me with one, then excellent.  If not, excellent too! So, I got angry at my friends because of something I was doing i.e. not bearing my own fruit and/or trying to bear the wrong sort.  So for any grudges or anger or bitterness I am sorry.

So to wrap up, I don’t know if this makes sense.  I’m not sure if I have said too much here, but if God can use it, then I don’t really mind!  I guess my closing inspiration today is: bear the fruit God is growing in you – not the fruit He is growing in someone else – even if that means not conforming to the ‘norm’.